Friday, 1 April 2016

Writing term one

I chose this story out of the others because I thought it was the most entertaining. In a far far camp called El Rancho as he conquers obstacles,fairs and has the best of time ever 
Here's some photos of my drafted 

Yay yay yay where going to camp I have already put my suitcase on the bus time to go everyone get on the bus.when we got on some how it looks like bus from the outside but a plane from the inside I had a look around and I saw the mini tvs that you see on the air NZ That's when from a speaker the sound of a handsome man came saying “this is your captain speaking captain Shakespeare and please  follow the safety procedures that will up on your mini screen I hope you have a great flight estimated time of arrival 10:25 am the mini tvs are now available to access. The first thing I tried doing was calling my mum but there was no internet connection. You know when time flyes  past well that what happened I only played like 50 games in a row but before I knew it we arrived. When I got out and I looked at the bus it had got a paint job. The first activity is rafting we saw pictures of raft made out of milk bottles and wood but we got half of a boat and a Nissan motor. After we finished we put someone on it and sent him out sea with enough fuel to go all around the world. The next actives is team initiative where everyone except one person gets a hoverboard and that one person was me I got a jetpack to go up high and guide the team I think they picked me because they read my goal for camp to conquer my fear fear of height yayayayayay yayayayayay the next activity is pool but the parents are scared the because some say that they put machine guns instead of water blasters. After a while we everyone felt like they were getting cooked so everyone got out and look at themselves and saw that there legs had started cook. By now everyone knows this is no ordinary camp next was archery we all hoped it was normal but we were wrong because they boma bows (boma rang bows),rocket power arrows and moving targets I'm a amacher so got the best bow in the universe the arrows had half a magnets that were in them and the other half behind the target so it was impossible to miss the target everyone thinks that I'm good at archery but bad at archery. So the lasts activity is horses and everyone know that can't change a horses a horse is a horse so everyone was happy because that was the only normal activity in the hole camp or is it let's find outso rode the horse the ride wasn't bumpy at all I was suspicious because the rode from my view was bumpy as hell so I was super suspicious but it was fun so forget but after we all left that's when I remembered that I left my hat at the horse's place so I went to get it and that when I saw it my one ticket out the horses were turning into dragons that can fly really fast so I ran straight to in and flew away 

The end 
Part two 
Coming soon

Feedback I like how you wrote the end part two coming soon😄

Feedforward none I love it.
Alex c